Monday, April 1, 2013


It's been nearly two weeks since J left for Australia, but he should be back in L.A. any day now. Just a few days, and then up to Seattle to start his new job.

I'll admit, I've been crazy jealous. He's messaged me a gazillion photos of all the sorts of shenanigans that I'd like to get up to in Sydney, and it got to a point where I almost replied, Enough with the fucking photos already. You're killing me.

He reminds me that although he's been having a great time, it's been hectic and busy for him to catch up with everyone again.

Poor baby.

Am I supposed to feel sorry for him? Because no matter how busy he might be, it can't possibly match the level of craziness that our trip was last year - after two and a half years away. Catching up after only six months? Sans children? It must be nice to wake up each morning and be your own boss. What does that feel like? (In a nice hotel, paid for by one's new employees, no less. With city views.)

I know. Jealous.

In all honesty, though, these last couple of weeks haven't been as difficult as I'd anticipated. Sure, Miss Pie has been outdoing any previous efforts of hers to test my limits, but I suspect it's partly a reaction to her missing J. Cognising that hasn't made my hand itch any less to giver her a slap in some situations, though. I haven't, but sheesh, you know? Trying to climb heavy tall bookcases, deciding she has to take a dump just as we're out the door to take the Faery to school, steadfast refusal to cooperate... well, ever... today, alone, she crapped in her undies three times. One of those times, I found her standing a metre away from the toilet, refusing to sit on it.


Stubborn three-year-old issues aside, I think I'm managing this solo gig okay. As long as I can put my damn iPhone down during the whole dinner-bath-bedtime routine, I am capable of running a pretty tight ship. If I allow myself to get distracted on, say Instagram, though? It's game over for me, and the girls know it. I'm learning.

The main part I struggle with is mornings - just the time between the alarm going off at 6.45am, and getting all three of us out the door by 7.35 (the Faery's school starts at an ungodly hour). I am not a morning person... and it's my own fault. If I'm in bed, with the lights out before midnight, I'm doing well - but it's rare. My 'me' time: watching TV, reading, surfing the net... I find it hard to know when enough is enough. Funnily, whenever I do actually get eight hours sleep, I still want to stay in bed. I just don't like early starts, and never have. Anyhow, once we're out the door, it's all good, and calm descends on me.

I feel super lucky with how much our friends have offered help if I need it. The day after J left, a sweet girlfriend organised a poolside play date so that the girls would be distracted for the day, and not too upset. And after a birthday party for the Faery's best little buddy, her family - who we adore - invited us to stay on for dinner, and insisted on a sending a generous amount of leftover pizza home with us. It was really thoughtful of them, and Miss Pie rewarded them by managing to accidentally get herself locked in their bathroom, and melting down (it had been a long day) while my friend's husband had to dismantle the entire door knob to unlock the door. Awkward.

Last week, I managed to do pretty well in terms of dinner for myself, once the girls were in bed. Early on in the week, I'd made a huge batch of Southwestern chicken soup in the slow cooker - far too much to eat in a few meals, so the freezer is well-stocked now. I also defrosted various batches of healthy leftovers... but this week?

Excuse the poorly-lit mobile phone shot.

Leftover pizza, (home-made) mini cheesymite scrolls and hot cross buns - that's about as random an assortment of food as it gets. But hey, last night I remembered to give myself some salad too. That addition means we can call this tapas, right? Especially when wine is involved.

Anyhow, this post is going nowhere, and pretty painfully at that. This is what happens when you have no adult company in the evenings. Just imagine how fascinating this blog - being my sole outlet - will be over the next few months (actually, be very afraid). My point I wanted to make, though, is that I'm doing fine. We are doing fine. These next few months will only be an inconvenience in the big scale of things. I mean, it's not like I'm a military wife and mother, and have to do this regularly, for lengthy periods of time. And there are plenty of women whose husbands frequently travel far and wide for their jobs. My current situation is nothing unique; I just need to keep that perspective in mine if a pity party starts up in my head.

So all in all, things are okay... in case anyone was wondering.


  1. I have been wondering so thank you for updating!

    I dunno ... that dinner looks pretty dang enticing. Particularly the liquid part of it. Sometimes you've got to take the easy option and I've never been one to sniff at a leftover so I might give this one a go myself.

    Ack - toilet training. I feel for ya' ... I really do. It can be VERY prolonged as I found out with the youngest. We still have accidents and the timing thing with bowel movements must be pretty common. R always needs to go when we're at the bus stop. Or in a checkout line with a full trolley. Either way, not convenient.

    I had no idea J was visiting here before starting his new job. Nice! Pity you and the girls could not have joined him for the trip. On the downside for him, he is missing out on all that glorious California weather you're having!

    We're on school holidays here with J and I splitting days (he's at work when I'm not and vice versa). It was his day yesterday and already the bar has been set too high. He took them out for Hungry Jacks after shopping and when I got home, the house was a tip, the dinner wasn't started, the dirty washing basket was full but everyone had had a really good time.

    R said to me this morning, "So what are we doing today, Mum?" I think he was a bit disappointed that my answer did not include any fast food or retail options. I'm going to have to have a word to J about saving those fun days for an emergency.

  2. God, that comment was self-centred ... my apologies.

    I should have said that although the next few months will be difficult for you all, I hope that the trade off will be huge. I have every hope that J's new job will deliver on so many fronts and in the meantime, I'm glad you have great friends close by who can help when you need it.

    You're doing great, you know. And yes there are lots of parents doing it solo for whatever reason but that doesn't mean you're not entitled to feel some anxiety over it. I'm sure they all have their moments too ... it's a full on gig!

    1. Thanks, Mel! I do have a tendency to talk down whatever little achievements I have, so I'm going to go ahead and give myself a hi-five for how things are going right now. It IS full on at times, for sure.

      I know what you mean about rationing out/sharing the 'fun' activities with J. My J mentioned fun ideas for the girls on the weekends that he comes down from Seattle, and I was all "Hell no, you're not going to be a Disney Dad on my time!" ;)

      Yeah, the Aussie trip was to sort out J's visa - his changed employment details mean he needs to reapply before legally starting work again. Mine and the girls' visas also need to be sorted, but there's less of an urgency. We decided we can do ours when we go back for my sister-in-law's wedding later in the year. It was possible for us all to go back now (paid for by the new company) but it felt a little overwhelming. Too much to organise in a short space of time, it would have been a rush in order to minimise how much school F would miss... and I just wasn't mentally prepared for the long flights with P again. It seemed too soon, and that sounds really silly, doesn't it?

      Who the hell knocks back free fights to their country? Me, that's who. As it turns out, though, the flights were/are with United (company's choice) - their long haul flight entertainment is still stuck in the 90s. No individual screens, let alone kids channels or games. Throw in a preschooler, and that sounds like hell. At least when we go back later this year, it'll be on our terms with the airline of our choice - one that caters to kids, too.

      And TTing... the 'accidents' aren't even a timing issue. She's fine with using public loos when we're out and about, and I can't remember the last time she wet herself. It's just the #2s. She refuses to use the loo or potty for them... hence the soiled pants. If it's been a day or two since her last #2, I give in and let her wear pull-ups... for my own sanity. She's only going to crap in her pants anyway, and doesn't care :/ Gah! Good times!

  3. You are doing amazing Mads! If you hadn't noticed I am catching up on your blog again!! You know, I was at the point of thinking my L was never going to stop crapping in his pants. No probs with wees but the damn #2s. I used to say, he will be going off to school and I will still be worried! I would console myself by saying, I'm sure he will stop by the time he is 16.....because it felt like it would take that long.
    But, we made it through to the other side. I promise you, Miss Pie will too. Sooner rather than later would be nice. Hope she gets the memo. :oS

    1. Oh it's good to hear that you survived! I mean, I know everyone does... eventually... but it does seem like it's never going to click, doesn't it? no problems with wees here, either - just damn stubbornness! xx