Not all of my Sunday sleep-ins are of quality sleep though. Sometimes when I go back to sleep, I have exhausting dreams that leave me wishing I'd just got up at my usual time.
This morning's effort had me thinking I was in my final year of high school, gearing up to do my Higher School Certificate.
Only, I realised I hadn't set foot in the school for a while. Quite a while. Shit.
What was on the syllabus? What assignments did I need to be working on? Shit, shit.
What was due? When? Shit, shit, shit.
What had I been doing with my time? Really - what had I been up to? I couldn't remember what was making me too busy for school. I knew I hadn't been sitting around, doing nothing. I hadn't been wasting my time.
I haven't studied! I don't know what I should be studying! I am so going to fail, just on attendance alone. Fuck.
Hang on... let's back up a minute. I do have my HSC. Oh, sweet relief! I don't have to sit those exams after all.
And what's that? There's more? Oh yeah, I have a university degree, too.
Wake up, very sweaty.
What a relief to realise that the reason why I'd been too busy to go to school was because I'd actually been living life. A 'grown-up' life. As for the feeling of 'what have I been doing with my days?', I'm sure it's got something to with my current unemployed, at-home-with-kids status. I do know that's sure as hell a good reason not to be going to high school - at least I'm off the hook there.
I used to dream fairly regularly about impending assignments that were long overdue, missing classes at uni, being on the wrong train, and so on. Standard stress dreams, but it's been many years since those particular themes entered my head space.
I assume it's because the other day, I received an official letter stating that my application for a work permit has been approved.
I'm not sure what I want to do next. The Faery starts kindergarten in August, but in California, kindergarten is only a half day. Do I really want to put Miss Pie in day care all day, plus fork out for half a day of after-school care for the Faery? Tricky, and I'm not sure it's worth it. Not to mention I have a feeling that part-time teaching gigs are even harder to come by these days, and I'm not ready for full-time work yet. So, those are the cons.
On the other hand, some extra income would be very welcome. Embraced with open arms. Socially, I know I'd benefit from a job, too. I could definitely do with some regular adult face-to-face interaction.
Working daytimes could be too complicated - at least for the next year or so. Some kind of evening work, during the week, is probably the best option for now. But what are my options? Private English language tuition? Maybe, but I find one-on-one tutoring so draining. An evening job in retail, when J is home and the girls are asleep? I like the idea of disappearing off to a bookshop like Barnes & Noble, a few times a week. That would be ideal, but I don't know if I'd be so lucky to get the hours that suit me. On paper, I'd look overqualified. And crap with the techy side of things.
I'm expecting the stress/crossroads dreams to make a starring comeback until I sort out what I want to do...
|Dream job? (photo source)|