Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Victoria's Snot

About a month ago, I made a promise to myself that when I'd finished for good with breastfeeding Miss Pie, I'd treat myself to some pretty new bras.

I am well and truly over the bras I currently wear. I've had most of them since I was pregnant with the Faery. That was five years ago, and I hung onto them for round two, buying a few more when needed. So, in this five-year period? I've been through two pregnancies, and a combined total - so far - of thirty-three months breastfeeding. That's more than four years of wearing boring, unflattering maternity bras.

Time has not been kind to the bras. They have lost what little shape they had to begin with, stretched and faded, and ride around my ribcage in an annoying fashion. Most likely, they are not the correct size for me any more but at this stage of the game, I can't justify buying new maternity bras. I weaned the Faery at eighteen months and - in the name of fairness - intend to do the same with Miss Pie. That will be only three months away, so I just need to suck it up for now.

Then... hello underwire! Hello again to proper support.

When I made myself this promise last month, I decided the ideal way to treat myself would be to make my new purchases from Victoria's Secret. I mean, I'm living in the US now, so why not take advantage of what's on offer?

I will buy my new bras in person - I don't trust making such purchases online - but I want to have an idea of what styles are being sold, so I decided to order a catalogue.

Why not just look at their website, I hear you ask? Well, although it's just browsing at this stage, it's still part of the plan to spoil myself. Sitting hunched over a computer to look at potential new bras? Nah. I want to put my feet up, with a nice beverage - which may or may not be alcoholic - and flick through glossy pages.

Ordering this catalogue was done through the Victoria's Secret website. When the request was done, I was sent a confirmation email, informing me that the catalogue would arrive within 7-10 business days. Fine by me, I'm not in a hurry.

That was a month ago. Three weeks later? Still no sign of the catalogue, so I emailed them to let them know. The reply I received was both apologetic and amusing. They apologised and said they were sending another catalogue. In the mean time, they wrote, did I know they have a website which could be viewed? (a link was provided) Okay, maybe those weren't their exact words, but it was something similar to that effect.

Umm... let me see... yes, I did know about their website because it was the only way I could request a catalogue.

This ramble is going somewhere, I promise.

The catalogue arrived today. I retrieved it from our mail box, and once inside, began to flip through it.

Here's the problem: both girls have been sick with a cold for the last few days, and I appear to have caught their germs. Awesome. I am covered in streaks of toddler snot, my own nose is running like a tap, my eyes are itchy from all the sneezing, and I am pretty sure a beauty of a cold sore is starting on my top lip.

My moral to this tale is this. Looking at a Victoria's Secret catalogue for inspiration when feeling decidedly unattractive and under the weather? Not a smart idea. Now I feel even less like hot stuff.


  1. Hope you guys all feel better soon!

  2. Why does a ramble have to go somewhere? Come join me in semi-coherent oblivion. I might even have that alcoholic beverage you've been hankering for.

    I've always wanted one of those catalogues. I'll know now that I should not bother ordering one. Perhaps I will just sit down and print off the pages on their website individually.

    What rotten luck to get sick so close to your SF trip. I hope you will be fine in the plane (sudafed, lots of sudafed).

    God I hear you on the state of your bras. I'm in nowhere land at the moment with them myself. Fortunately, my bazoombas have deflated sufficiently to allow me to wear underwire during working hours. Once at home, I revert to maternity bras (or "Tubbletee Holders" as Rory calls them). You can at least forgive them their lack of sex appeal if they are comfortable but once the comfort factor goes, it's all downhill.

  3. Thank you, Amy. I can cope with being sick for a few days... I just hope it buggers the hell off by the weekend so I can enjoy San Francisco. If it buggers off for my birthday on Friday, even better.

    Mel... Tubbletee Holders? I love it! How on earth did that come about? Is it for Double D? Or just random? I must know the story. And thank you for reminding me that it's probably okay if wear underwire now and then (Miss P is only have a morning and night feed these days).

    Needless to say, J was most happy when he came home and saw a certain catalogue lying on the kitchen bench. Maybe I should take it with me to San Francisco...

  4. I've written a post about Tubbletee but haven't put it up yet. It is the nickname Rory has for one of my boobs. The other one is "Other Side" or "Uwa Shide" as he calls it.

    There ... that is WAY more information than you ever wanted to know!

    I think SF would be the perfect opportunity to do some luxury undie shopping. You can't try that stuff on when you have the kids with you. You need time and space.

  5. I love it! When F first began talking, around nine months, she called them "Bwah-boo". No idea why. Miss P still has no words for them, though.

    That's so true about kids and underwear shopping. I plan to dump them on J when it's time to hit the Victoria's Secret store. He won't complain, I'm sure...