Wednesday, November 2, 2011


I've been having such fun with the writing prompts from MamaKatsLosinIt that I decided to do another round. This is a list of FAQs and I swear - I did not invent a single question. Some of them are surprisingly frequent.

(Click here for link)

So, your accent. Swedish? South African? Russian? Scottish?
Nope. Cold, cold, cold, cold.

From across the pond or down under?
Ah. You're getting warmer...


What line of work are you in?
I spent the better part of the last decade teaching English as a language to foreign students, refugees and immigrants. Prior to that, I've been a bar maid, worked in retail (mostly chocolates - lucky me, huh?), and even a volunteer phone counsellor. Not sure what's next, but I'm open to cool job offers.

Can you really see kangaroos hopping down the street in lots of places? I bet a lot of people have asked you that.
Quite a few people have asked. And no, it's not like you see them hopping through the city or suburban streets. It's something only really seen in the less urban areas, but I have seen them in people's front yards - in small towns - on a few occasions.

What brings you to L.A. then?
My husband accepted a job here. It's a good job and we were keen to experience living in yet another city/country for a while. You only live once.

What do you normally do for Thanksgiving in Australia?
Well, considering it's a holiday that celebrates an important time in North American history... nothing. It's a normal day. We're happy to go along with the excuse for a good feast while we're living in the US, though!

Would you like your latte hot or cold?
People drink them cold? Ugh, no thanks. Hot, please.

Do you want whipped cream on top?
Oh, you think I need more dairy in my latte? I'll pass, thanks.

Can I have your social security number?
Despite what your store manager may have told you, I'm not legally required to give that information to anyone other than government services. So, no - you can't.

I've only just realised that you're quite tall, aren't you? Just how tall are you?
A little over 6"... or 183cm to the rest of the world.

How old are your daughters?
My eldest recently turned five, and the little one will be two in January.

Can she breathe under that thing?
You really have to ask? Okay, I shouldn't get snarky. It is Southern California after all, and you genuinely may have never seen a rain cover on a stroller before.

What are your pet hates?
The biggest one is chewing gum. So glad that these days, I don't have to sit next to people chewing it loudly on buses and trains. Likewise, I'm glad I spend less time in close proximity to women who drown themselves in perfume. Why do they do that? It makes me nauseous. A third one is balloons drifting around in my apartment. Kids can be so annoying that way.

Favourite colour?
These days, I'm gravitating back to turquoise and teal. Purple is so nineties.

Where do you badly want to visit, that you haven't been before?
I can now scratch San Francisco off my list, so New York is number one... followed by Japan. While we're in the US, there are loads of other places I'd love to see: Las Vegas, New Orleans, Utah, Montana, Arizona...

What's for dinner?
If you ask one more time, I'm going to stab my eyeball with something blunt.

Are we nearly there?
If you ask one more time, I'm going to stab my eyeball with something even blunter.

Can I stay up a bit later?
No. Mum needs her 'me' time.

Sure kiddo. Here's your third apple for the day...

Um, I'm confused. Again.

Have you seen my glasses?
Wherever you left them last...

You coming to bed soon?


  1. Okay, so this is freaky. I JUST started writing my FAQ post and totally opted for procrastination instead which is when I came directly to YOU.

    Yay for another prompt post!

    Those questions seem so incredibly cliched, don't they? But maybe I ask foreigners dumbass questions, too. Probably.


    Loved it. Off to finish (begin) mine.

  2. Fabulous! Great minds think alike, huh? Can't wait to read yours.

    As a teenager, I worked in a very touristy part of Sydney. I can't begin to repeat the questions I got asked then. My brain still hurts when I think back to them.

    These questions are pretty much culled from this chapter in my life... although the height one has been a constant since forever - so many people will know me or work with me for ages, then suddenly be struck one day by the fact I'm tall. It's kind of funny, and strange that it's not an immediate feature that people notice. Too busy staring at my DDs, I suppose.

  3. Oh my God ... you've both done a sterling job on this. I'm too scared to do it now.

    Damn hilarious though ... especially the last bit. I just know that was J asking about the appool.

    How funny that they don't notice you're tall because your other assets are directly on eye level. Funny AND predictable gentlemen ... do grow up!

  4. Last one, fair dinkum my friend! So me and my Husband too... Made me laugh, great FAQ.

  5. Totes the double Ds, love. Because they are positioned directly at eye level for the average schmo. Me, I stare deep into your belly button. True story.

  6. Thanks Mel - I would LOVE to see an FAQ written by you. I know I would laugh. A lot, too.

    Lovely to hear, Stasha - I have a feeling that last FAQ is a very common query across the board ;)

    Angie - that's okay. My belly button is quite a nice belly button, if that makes you feel any better.

  7. This was so funny, especially the last few questions!