All of the thanks and fun

You know what? We had the best Thanksgiving break ever. It was exactly what was needed.

Our friends in Portland arrived in record time for lunch, where we proceeded to stuff ourselves silly with food. We ate and ate and ate and ate. As we fell on to the couch to recover, all four kids disappeared upstairs to play, and it was like no time had passed since they last saw each other. As they played, the wine and beer began flowing, along with reminiscing about the years when we lived next door in Sydney. This was pretty much the pattern for the next few days: coffee, coffee, coffee, wine, coffee, coffee, wine, wine, wine, wine. And food. Lots of food.

I think my liver has only just recovered.

We kept an eye on the weather forecast because Saturday was predicted to bring snow. I didn't want to get my hopes up because if I learned anything last winter in Seattle, it was that snow gets predicted much more than it actually happens. Also, it was still November! The first snowfall last year didn't happen until days before Christmas. As if it was going to snow, right?

And we then woke up on Saturday morning. Ahem... and, yay!

It was only a small amount of snow, and oddly none of it actually stuck to the roads, but it was enough to make four kids super excited and willing to head to our local baseball fields for a play. This adult may or may not have been excited too - for the first time, I had proper snow boots to break in and keep my feet warm and dry. Another reason I was happy was because the clouds gave way to sunshine and blue skies, which never happened last winter when it snowed - back then, the rain came and melted it fairly quickly (this time, the snowy white patches stayed for a good four or five days).

In fact, the skies cleared up so beautifully that we thought it would be the perfect afternoon to take our visitors to the Space Needle. We'd already been up twice in the past, but both times were heavy grey days without mountain views. This day was so cold anyway, not many other people would have the same idea, right?

Right?

We got there at 2pm, and stood in line for a freezing half hour as icy winds - the truly miserable kind - whipped around us. When we finally got to the ticket window, we were informed the next time slot available was 4pm, and we nearly cried, until we remembered we could go and warm up in the nearby EMP Museum (we get a discount there which makes it worth going in, even for just ninety minutes). So that's what we did, and everything worked out perfectly.

We made it up the Space Needle with not much time to spare before sunset, but in those temperatures, it's not like I wanted to be outside for more than five or ten minutes anyway. As the sun was going down, we were treated to a birds eye view of two dudes climbing around, installing the Christmas-coloured lights on the outside of the tower. They had a crowd watching, I had vertigo, and knew for sure that was a job there is no amount of money in the world that would convince me to do.

Happily, the entire horizon - both east and west - was full of mountains and pink skies, so I finally got my wish for clear views form the Space Needle. And white snow-dustings atop the buildings downtown - still a novelty. We got some cheesy photos of the four kids sitting with Santa in his space sleigh, and called it a day. The Portland gang had to leave the next day, and I spent another three days eating stuffing... I want more weekends like this, please. There's nothing better for the soul than quality time with close friends you've known for a decade and gone through the dramas of baby stuff together with, right? Living away from Australia, the opportunity for spending time with old friends isn't something we get to do often, if at all, so I'm grateful we only live a three-hour drive from these guys.

A bang

With only one day of January to go, and zero posts here from me so far, it's safe to say that 2014 has started with somewhat of a bang.

Not only have I been trying to settle into some kind of groove with my new working hours (about to change, but that's a story for another time), we've also played host to family and friends visiting from both Australia and Los Angeles.

The first celebration, though, was Miss Pie turning the big FOUR. It was a fairly low-key event, but one that kept repeating with various visitors bearing gifts. Lucky kid. The thing that made her feel most special on the day, however, was when the candle-lit cake (lemon-cream cheese with butter icing) came out. Hell, I wished I was four again.

That same evening, my brother and sister-in-law arrived for a stay. We spent the next few days cramming in some sightseeing - mainly places I hadn't been to before.

We hung out at the EMP Museum, where they had a Nirvana exhibit. My brother, J, and myself, were (were?... still!) all massive fans of Nirvana so it was a pretty special afternoon. Bonus sightings were the Fantasy exhibit, complete with Jim Henson's hand-scribbled notes, one of David Bowie's costumes from The Labyrinth (I was obsessed with that movie as a kid), and the Lion's costume from The Wizard of Oz. As if that wasn't enough, we discovered the Sci-fi exhibit - Christopher Reeve's Superman costume, Star Trek memorabilia, and more from Dr Who. Knowing what science fiction buffs our soon-to-be-visiting friends from L.A. are, we knew we'd be back the following week.

Another new experience for me was the (downtown) Underground Tour at Pioneer Square. I'd had no idea about the history of the pioneers in Seattle, and it was interesting to learn about how the underground passages came to be, when they'd been the original open streets. There is some bizarre history behind Seattle's early days.

After my brother's visit was done and dusted, we welcomed our friends from L.A. Their daughter is the Faery's 'BFF', and they have another child the same age as Miss Pie. Get-togethers with these guys is pretty much as good as it gets, as we share a lot of the same interests but also get introduced to new things to love - through them - whether it's food, movies, TV shows, or books.

After six months of feeling a little (socially) isolated in Seattle, it was wonderful to spend time with our friends again. Their entire visit was a blur of chasing four-year-olds, eating, story-telling, more sightseeing, more eating, and late nights with four kids doing their best to evade us at bed time. What made me happiest, though, was witnessing the joy that the Faery felt to be with her little soul mate. The two of them giggled about nonsensical things, late into the nights, and it was incredibly sweet. Understandably, there were many tears when it was time for our friends to leave.

Of course - in that entire period of sightseeing with family and friends - do you think we saw the blue sky just once? Nope. Seattle did what Seattle typically does at this time of year, but I was pretty mad when the sun came out in full force the very day our friends flew back to L.A. A day earlier - when we'd been up the top of the Space Needle - would have been nice. Ah well.

After a run of dreary grey - but busy - weekends, we finally had a full three days of sunshine. We soaked it up by discovering another local beach and park (including views of Mt Rainier that guarantee I'll be frequenting the place in warmer weather and Instagramming my little heart out), and a trip to the zoo.

 I looked at our calendar the other day, and was in genuine shock when I asked J where January had gone. I'm hoping February will be gentler, but I wouldn't redo January for the world. The time we spent with loved ones was more than worth it, and my soul was a thousand times happier for a week or so. In the mean time, I need to start putting those pennies aside for a trip down to California...

Rendez-vous

One of the harder things about living overseas is the lack of opportunity to spend time with old friends. We've made some really lovely friends here in L.A. but sometimes there is nothing like hanging out with someone who knows your backstory and every little detail; someone who you don't have to do the whole 'getting to you know you' chit chat.

Last night, we had an old friend over for dinner, and it was so good to reminisce about past misadventures together, and catch up on news. D lives in Portland but used to live next door to us in Sydney, when J and I first moved back after largely spending our 20s elsewhere. When the Faery was born, D and her husband B were the first to bring us batches of home-made enchiladas and Thai green curry. Their second child was born six weeks later and I tried to return the favour but I'm pretty sure my cooking was only half as good.

Over the years that we spent living side by side, I learned - for the first time in my life - what it was like to have awesome neighbours. Impromptu barbecues, with the gates to our shared (back) lane left open to run between the two homes, were a part of life there. So were communal baths for the kids while we cracked open another bottle of wine. D and B were the kind of neighbours that most people could only dream of having, and over time we stopped calling each other neighbours - we were more than that, we were friends. Are friends.

Of course, life happens and we were unable to stay in that tiny rented house forever. Likewise, D and B made the leap of moving to Portland (D's hometown). Less than a year later, we found ourselves in L.A. All this time later, there have been thoughtful handmade Valentine gifts in the mail (for the Faery and Miss Pie), Skype chats, and the odd family rendez-vous when schedules and finances permitted.

Happily, we were able to welcome D to our place for dinner last night. She's in town briefly, and none of us wanted to pass up the chance to eat, drink and be merry. The Faery was beside herself with excitement, as D is like a favourite aunt to her. Miss Pie didn't remember her from the last time we all got together, but she instantly attached herself to D... and what we love about D is that she showers our kids with the same love and attention she does her own.

Eventually, the girls were put to bed and J, D and I were able to get down to the proper nitty-gritty of catching up and family gossip, along with the inevitable comparisons of life in Australia versus life in the US. The uncomplicated familiarity between us was something I haven't felt for a while, and made me wish I could have more nights like this with old friends... but rather than dwelling on the geography that gets in the way of so many of my friendships, I went to bed feeling reinvigorated, my soul recharged.

Also? A little tipsy...

Butterflies and dinosaurs

One of the loveliest things to come out the Faery's school experience so far is watching her new friendships blossom. There is one little girl, N, who she is enamoured with, and N is equally besotted with the Faery. N is beyond adorable and sweet. When the two of them get together, it's like instant fireworks. Alone, they are both fairly quiet kids, but together they bring out something special in one another. They each adopt funny voices, move in comical ways for giggles, and slap each other's butts while cracking fart jokes. They even have nonsensical words that none of us really understand.

Equally great is that I adore N's family. Her parents are very much on the same page as J and I, and they also have a little boy who is a similar age to Miss Pie. Their home is exactly the kind of home we've been dreaming of and they are warm, welcoming people. We've begun doing family hangouts together, which I always enjoy.

Over the weekend, we all hit the Natural History Museum together. There is an ever-changing butterfly exhibit from April to September, where people can wander through as the butterflies flutter about - perfect for little girls. There is also an incredible display of dinosaur skeletons - something J and I haven't really had much of an opportunity to see at museums in Australia. I think of the eight of us there, J was the last one to finish looking at the dinosaurs. Kid in a candy store. And on a creepy note, there were several massive rooms, filled with life-sized dioramas of wildlife in all their taxidermied glory. Good times.

Yesterday, I was finally able to have a go at volunteering in the Faery's classroom - only two weeks before school finishes for the summer, but better late than never, right? I've been wanting to do it for a while but the reality of having an active, destructive toddler have meant I really needed to wait for J to  miss a morning of work to mind her. She's simply not the sort of kid that can be towed along to these things and expected to play quietly.

Anyhow, it was worth the wait. Watching them as they pledged their allegiance to the American flag - lisps and all - followed by a rendition of the The Star-Spangled Banner (man, that song has some bastard high notes to reach) was so sickeningly cute that I briefly forgot my discomfort about the Faery having to pledge loyalty to a foreign country.

Being the first day back after a long weekend, the teacher had them sitting on the carpet and talking about the things they did. N was the first one to talk, excitedly sharing: "I got new glasses! And me and F went to a museum! And we saw butterflies! And we saw caterpillars! And we saw dinosaurs! And we saw a sabre-toothed tiger!" I could hear great gulps of breath between her exclamations.

While I was there, I had a chance to look at the classwork on display, ahead of Open House tonight. The back wall was filled with posters created by each child, with an accompanying photo of themselves. The theme was who they like playing with. The Faery had drawn a picture of her and N, and written I like to play with N evry day. She is nis and prity. I like hr. Further along, I saw N's poster: I like to play with F cuz she is my best frend. I can't tell you how that warmed my heart.

It almost makes me wish I was five or six years old again. Almost, but not quite.

Two years in La La Land

It seems that only six months ago, I wrote about it being a whole year since we'd moved to Los Angeles, but guess what? That wasn't six months ago.

It was a year ago.

Meaning? We've actually been here for two years now.

Holy crap. I have no idea where that time went - none at all. It's flown even faster than our first year here. I suspect the fact that the Faery is in school five days a week may be somewhat responsible. Days are filled with more purpose now, and our social calendar looks much busier.

Not only has the Faery been busy with making new friends from school, so have I. This is good. Maybe it's just me, but as I get older, I get lazier and less motivated to make new friends. I like the ones I already have, thank you very much. Unfortunately, they happen to mostly live on the other side of the Pacific Ocean - a little tricky for hanging out together.

So, I've put on my cheerful face during school drop-offs and pick-ups, and made an effort to get to know other parents. I'd been secretly dreading the whole school mum/mom scene for a while, imagining snooty cliques of soccer mums.

Thankfully, I've been proven very wrong. Kids are great as a tool for meeting other people, right? Perhaps it's down to the nature of the programme that the Faery is enrolled in - dual language and heavy exposure to Korean culture - but the parents are far more open-minded, knowledgable, and embracing of other cultures than what I'd imagined (stupidly based on stereotypes of American adults).

Don't I feel foolish? But this is the sort of situation where I'm happy to be wrong.

Not only am I meeting more people - lovely, friendly people - but many of them are connected to this city in a way that's just so... well... L.A. baby. 

Three of the dads are musicians (one of whom spent over a decade in a band which even had a number one song in Australia, strangely enough, so he's been on many tours there). Several other dads work for the same animation company as J. One of the mums is involved high up the chain at Nickelodean Jnr, and I've seen her name in the credits of the Faery's current favourite show. Another mum is an in-demand hairdresser based in Hollywood, and modest to boot about it. It's only over time that I've coaxed from her the names of celebrities she's worked on - Katy Perry, Florence Welch, Kylie Minogue, and Britney Spears, to name a few.

I feel pretty uncool next to some of these parents, but I'm okay with that. It's purely my own perception of where I stand in the grand scheme of social pecking order - thanks to high school all those years ago. I know that I have a few things going in my favour, too. Being the "tall Australian mom" curries a certain amount of curiosity. I don't mind that.

I'm not even sure where this ramble is going right now. Mostly, I just wanted to acknowledge this two-year L.A. anniversary, along with how quickly time has passed. That mostly, my social circle here is expanding, and that's cause for a happy dance. That loneliness that expats feel at some point, impatient to know more people? That's quickly becoming a distant memory here.

A year ago, I don't think there are many people I would have missed if we were to pack up and head back home. Things are feeling more entwined now and I know with certainty that when the time comes to leave L.A. - whether it's two years from now, or in five years - there are people I'll be very sad to say goodbye to.

Still, what's that saying? It's better to have loved and lost, than not to have loved at all. I think it's the same with moving far away. Let new people in, even if the sadness of parting ways is inevitable. Otherwise, what's the point? To live life properly, it needs to be shared with friends - whether old or new.

Woven

We first met in a fine arts class that we shared at university. When I look back on those outdoor lunches we had between classes, there's a warm, golden glow filtering through my memories.

I'm not sure what T saw in me, why she wanted to get to know me. To spend time with me.

In her, I saw sunshine. Others saw her light, too - so many of us, like moths. T was completely unaware of the effect she had on people, though.

In her, I learned what gifted meant. Her words tumbled and flowed. Her drawings oozed and dripped, revealing shafts of light - and darkness - from her soul. The very sight of her handwriting, alone, filled me with anticipation.

In her, I found a sister. A friend for life. The world, as I'd known it then, shifted. Tilted. Expanded.

I miss her so much.

Those student days were intense.

Together, we danced and sang to music we loved. We lost weekends to 'recreation'. Juggled study and work. Juggled housemates and relationships. Love and heartbreak. Colour and chaos. Entwined.

A few years later, she came to see us in London, and stayed for the summer. More adventures. Sunshine. Music. Barefoot freedom. More broken hearts.

Since then, geography has got in our way. When J and I returned to Australia, we moved to Melbourne. T was in Sydney. We eventually moved back to Sydney, and I was able to start spending time with her again. Then, when I was pregnant with the Faery, she left Australia. A new life in a new country was calling her.

I didn't want her to go, but I understood. She needed to be with the love of her life, and so once again, a sea stood between us. Another timezone. It was only a few hours, but it seemed so far.

Now, it's an even bigger ocean between us. We've never been into buying birthday cards or gifts for one another, although I still have - and treasure - one she made for me all those years ago. Shyly given to me outside Fisher Library. A black and white drawing, a silhouette of two female figures on a small boat, sitting opposite, palms raised up and pressed together. There's a large full moon rising behind us, illuminating the gentle waves.

That card is tucked away into a shoe box of mementos, inside a bigger box of belongings, in storage. Far away from me. I haven't laid eyes on that drawing for a very long time, but when I close my eyes, I can see every last etch made by her pen. Every line. I know the picture well.

Just like the card, I haven't seen much of T in recent years. Months, and more months, will pass before one of us gets in touch with the other. Sometimes longer.

It doesn't matter though. Our letters and emails have been prompted by dreams we've had about the other. A hunch, pushing us to pick up a pen, or switch on the computer. The timing has been uncanny.

She expressed it beautifully, not long ago - it's like we're cut from the same cloth, and it doesn't matter how much time passes before we speak or write, because there's always a part of us in one another.

Woven.

I love that.

Yesterday was one of those days when I heard from her, out of the blue, but the timing was perfect. As always, her words made me want to cry. I still get a lump in my throat each time I replay her words.

I'm not a gushy person. I'm not touchy-feely. I do the whole bottle-it-in-with-stiff-upper-lip thing a little too well (just like my family). Some people probably even find me... prickly. I don't do declarations of love, except to a select few. That's just who I am. My poor husband.

I needed to write this, though. I love and miss T like crazy and today, it hurts... so I'm making an effort to go against my usual grain, and attempt the mantra of better out than in.

I hope T knows just how much she means to me.