Wanderings

When I was younger, I don't think I really paid much attention to when particular plants bloomed and flourished. Growing up in Sydney, I loved the abundance of frangipanis, bougainvillea and jacarandas. Sadly, frangipanis don't appear to be a popular choice in Los Angeleno gardens - I rarely see them - but if there's one thing I've learned to count on, it's that April in L.A. brings explosions of fuschia (bougainvillea), followed by even larger displays of purple trees (jacarandas). It's like a piece of home.

How about these 1920s Spanish Colonial Revival bungalows? I don't live in one, but most of the neighbourhoods in my area are chock full of these, and I adore them. I wonder what style of homes in Seattle will have me drooling equally?

A few weeks back, I went for a hike along Runyon Canyon with a girlfriend while both girls were at school... and it just about killed me. Partly due to declining fitness levels (after my main weight loss last year, I switched my cardio workouts to yoga classes), but I also think it was because I simply hadn't hydrated myself enough beforehand (I also woke up the next day with a killer sinus infection, which may be why I wasn't feeling so great either).

We got there around 10am, and the temperatures were already in the high 20s (ºC), with little to no shade along the main trails. In an effort to avoid major traffic at the southern end, we unwittingly made the mistake of starting at the northern end - ie at the top, off Mulholland Drive. It was easy cruising downhill... then we had to hike uphill to get back to the car. I was too ashamed to admit it to my friend, but I was this close to vomiting from the heat and dehydration. Lame, right? Adding further to my shame was the sheer amount of 'beautiful people' along the way - barely breaking a sweat, it seemed. Botoxed armpits? Who knows. My friend and I were talking the entire time so I didn't take a great deal of photos, but the views were pretty amazing. The Hollywood sign was much clearer than the below photo shows.

There's an outdoor shopping centre/mall only a short drive from home, and because of its proximity to the main library, its green lawns and kid-friendly activities, large Barnes & Noble bookstore, and Pinkberry frozen yoghurt, I go there fairly regularly. Such a mall rat, I know. But check it out:

It's a little like if Disney made a shopping mall. Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin are piped through speakers in the trees and there are regular choreographed fountain shows. An old style trolley car does a loop, which the Faery and Miss Pie can never get enough of riding on. Ding ding! 

And notice those multi-storey buildings? All apartments. The residents' pool is fancy schmancy, and I only know this personally because I have a couple of friends who live there (the pool shots I posted last month were taken there). One of these friends is the same friend I hiked with, and we've recently (in lieu of hiking) started going to the free yoga classes held on the lawn at the mall.

Doing downward dog and looking at that Tiffany & Co. store upside down each time was, well, surreal. I had to sneak in a photo right at the end of one of the classes. Incongruity aside, it's been enjoyable to do yoga outdoors for a change (under the dappled shade of a jacaranda - even better).

The above shot is one I had to throw in here, simply because I like it. It was taken on a road that runs parallel to the road I live on, just a block away. You know, I still don't understand the physics of these palm trees. How the hell do they stay upright?

As for the above hedges, it made me smile when I stumbled across it on a walk last week. Did the gardener forget his ladder one day? Did the owners fire the gardener half-way through the job? Are the owners paying homage to Dr Seuss? Tim Burton? Or do these hedges simply grow faster and more more wildly from the top? Who knows, but I'm all for whatever makes me smile.

The girls and I are flying to Seattle for the upcoming Memorial Day (and long weekend) so the countdown is on for when we all get to see J again. Five more sleeps...

Half full cups

When I first began the whole weight loss regime at the beginning of the year, there were two things that never even entered my head - 1) It might actually work, and 2) Clothes will start getting too big, and more clothes required.

With the first matter, all I was concerned about was going to Australia (in September) looking better than when I'd left. Trimmer, but nothing radical. I think I achieved that, but I am actually far slimmer than I thought possible.

With the second matter, I generally find clothes shopping a pain in the arse. I never got that particular girly gene, but I did get the frugal gene. I don't get excited about clothes. I see something, I might think it looks okay, try it on, and if it doesn't make me look like crap, then I might buy it - as long as it's priced within my budget. I've never been one of those women to blow half a week's pay packet on a pair of shoes or a pretty dress. I can never justify spending much on clothes for myself when I have two growing daughters who need clothes too.

Which brings me to where I am today. When I joined the gym at the end of January, I weighed 87 kg (191 lbs). Keep in mind that I'm 183 cm tall (just over 6")... so my height allowed me to carry the extra weight better than on a shorter person. I wasn't unhappy as such, but I hated how hard it was to find things in my size that I liked. Nothing seemed to sit the right way on my frame, so I decided I needed to trim down.

(I should also add that what I weighed then wasn't baby weight. No, it was pretty much what I've weighed since my mid-twenties. I only gained a small amount during pregnancy, and lost it within days of giving birth, both times. No tricks, I was just lucky.)

I am currently around 68 kg (150 lbs).

That's a grand total of 19 kg (41 lbs) lost.

I honestly never thought that would happen.

I reached a point (a few months back) where I stopped being so careful with the calorie-counting (via MyFitnessPal). When we visited Australia, I didn't bother at all; I just enjoyed myself completely. I still watch the calories now, but it's become more about maintaining where I'm at. It's been easy because I've managed to successfully change my snacking habits and certain things I eat. I have much more awareness now about how high in calories some things are, so I know to limit those (but not avoid - I love sugar too much!). On Fridays and weekends, I eat what I want, and have fun with it. I'm hoping that soon, eating within a range will become second nature most days.

The exercise I've been doing has changed as this year has progressed. Initially, I was going hard with cardio-based classes and the cross-ramp, along with some strength-training. Gym visits were three nights a week. Then, not long after we moved during the summer, I hurt my neck and shoulders pretty badly, so I decided to ditch the weights altogether and just focus on cardio workouts. Since returning from Australia, I've gone easy on the cardio and rarely do that. Instead, the most bizarre thing has happened: I've begun to enjoy yoga - something I've tried repeatedly over the years and never taken to in the past. I guess it goes to show what an impact the right yoga instructor can have, because I just love the teacher I have now. I usually go twice a week, and love how my body feels for the next few days.

Throughout this year, I've been really careful about the discussions I've had with the Faery regarding my exercise. She has no idea that I've been losing weight, or that I even wanted to. I don't want her to to even get a whiff of the concept of body image, or dissatisfaction - she'll have enough of that to deal with as she gets older. Instead, I've focussed on the health aspect of exercise.

My own body image has been a strange affair. I never suffered from the intense loathing that so many girls and women seem to. Growing up, I was always one of the skinniest girls at school. Super skinny, and eventually, super tall. There were other girls at school who called me names like Lurch, Hightower, Beanpole... you get the picture. Naturally, they were shorter, and not so skinny. I wish I'd just known at the time that they were jealous, but my teenaged self-esteem had no idea.

After finishing high school, I gradually gained some curves and was thrilled to finally have boobs. The following years of tertiary study, partying and travelling saw the curves keep on coming, until I was no longer that skinny girl. It took some adjusting to, but I accepted it and began to view my amazonian-junk-full-of-trunk as the way I was meant to be.

And yet, here I am. A bit of careful eating and regular exercise... and I am almost the old skinny me again. It's a bizarre thing to get my head around, and when I catch glimpses of myself in shop window reflections, I'm often surprised to see the tall chick who no longer has bingo-lady-arms. People make jokes about having a 'fat' person inside, trying to get out. With me, it's almost a case of the opposite - who knew there was a former skinny girl still in me?

Last week, I went bra shopping for the first time in about a year. Walking around in my 36DD bras, I'd been feeling fraudulent for a number of months, knowing those DDs were half full of air. My poor boobs. They seemed so much smaller that I'd put off bra shopping, not wanting to know the truth about my newer size. Was I now a C, or even a B?

I was buying a few other things from Target, and on a whim decided to grab a handful of various bras to see what size might fit. That in itself was a novelty, as I haven't had much luck finding decent 36DD bras from Target in the past. Armed with various bras, I headed to the fitting room, bracing myself for whatever sad news was about to become official. I started off with a 36D bra, expecting the cups to be too big.

Boom! It fit like a glove. Thinking it might be a fluke, I tried another 36D on. Boom! Another glove.

I can't describe the purely vain relief I felt. Skinny girl, curvy girl, skinny again... whatever adjustments I've had to make in my own perceptions of my body size... drastically shrunken boobs wasn't part of the package in my mind. All my adult life, my ego has thoroughly loved and enjoyed having a good old rack. Even now, a little smaller, I'm happy that their overall shape has generally withstood the challenges of pregnancy, breastfeeding and weight loss. I've been very lucky. We all need at least one body part that we love and want to show off, right?

Yesterday, the Faery was playing with J's old phone, and took a photo of me as I was sitting in a chair. I assumed she was just using the regular camera app but a few hours later when I was browsing my feed on Instagram, there my portrait was - eek! She'd somehow managed to apply a filter as well, under J's Instagram account. Needless to say, that phone is going into lockdown mode with the apps, so she can't do worse damage. Anyhow, I was more than bemused when I saw the photo she'd taken. Who was that skinny chick? Look at those long legs unfolding out from under her, not unlike a praying mantis? It wasn't a flattering angle, but the photo could have been much worse. I just looked plain gangly, and reminiscent of the photos of me as a teenager.

Not sure where I'm going with this ramble. I just thought it was time to put down into words what has been happening to me, physically, this year. Also, it's important to acknowledge the way those physical changes are affecting the way I see myself, even if I do forget from time to time that I'm now a slimmer version - a Madeleine 3.0, I suppose.

Bring on autumn, and the new clothes I shall be requiring. Knitted, shorter dresses with boots, here I come...

Getting active

So... I've joined a gym.

It's been a very long time. The last time I belonged to a gym was ten years ago, when we lived in London. I was pretty good, and went regularly for the whole year. Not much about my body changed in that time, but my fitness went through the roof. I guess that's something, but I had been hoping to slim down a little too.

Cut to now. I'm okay with my body, but at the same time, there are bits I don't like, and I would be more than happy if I went down a dress size or two. My current weight is what it was pre-kids but it's all about the jiggle. A little less would be nice. My arms are heading dangerously into 'tuck shop lady arms' territory, and I need to sort that out.

There are a few other reasons why I've finally jumped into this fitness kick.

I've never been great at motivating myself to get active, so I've been fairly sedentary over recent years - especially since moving to Los Angeles. In Sydney, I did a hell of a lot of walking, as part of my daily routine. Even the walk to the bus stop (on my way to work) involved a trek up a hill each morning. We lived in a hilly area, with cafes and shops within a decent walking distance, so I only drove to the shops if it was raining. Here, even though it's much flatter, nothing is conveniently located without having to get in the car. Annoying.

I also want to start setting a better example now that the Faery is getting older, and more aware about healthy choices. I can't exactly preach to her about playing outside if she only sees me sitting on my toosh in my down time.

Lastly, I want some of those exercise endorphins, dammit. A more positive attitude and headspace is something I'm in need of, and I hear exercise is great for that... so bring it on.

Luckily, some friends have been raving about a nearby women's gym with child-minding. Just what I need! Having a few friendly faces to run into also helps.

It's early days - I only signed on last week - but so far it's been interesting. I can't help but chuckle already at some of the differences between my London gym experiences and my current situation. The gym in London was tucked away down a narrow lane way, behind a large railway station. It had a lot of squash courts (which I don't think is as popular here?), was mixed gender membership, and a number of the women played rugby. For fun.

In contrast, this gym is part of a large office building near a freeway. Plenty of parking available, naturally. Being a women's gym, there is definitely a wide range of clientele, but in terms of conforming to LA stereotypes, I've already seen quite a few women who have succumbed to Botox, dermal fillers, and silicone. The area we live in has a high Armenian population, so there are also plenty of girls who look, dress and sound like they could be long lost Kardashian sisters.

Anyhow, I have a feeling that by making the effort to hit the gym several times a week, it's going to cut into my internet time... but then, that's the point. Get off my arse, get active. Stop reading, start doing.

I just need to keep reminding myself of a quote I saw on Pinterest:

WHAT YOU DO TODAY CAN IMPROVE ALL YOUR TOMORROWS

I like it.