Monday, October 17, 2011

Once bitten...

Pop culture's obsession with vampires is nothing new, and I've had my own bit of fun over the years.

Interview with the Vampire was the first movie that had me swooning over Brad Pitt. It had people raving about Tom Cruise's performance, which wasn't really much of a stretch when you think about it. Egomaniac plays egomaniac (amongst other shared attributes) - easy.

Another source of vampires that I've enjoyed is True Blood. Oh yeah, lots of eye candy in that one. Eye candy and Southern accents - can't go wrong, really. I began in the Team Bill camp, but shifted to Team Eric as soon as Alexander SkarsgĂ„rd cut his hair. Mmm... Eric...

There's a camp element to True Blood that I appreciate - the show doesn't take itself too seriously. Sadly, I'm a season behind, and must rectify that as soon as possible.

The big vampire franchise that I haven't been able to get into is Twilight. As a thirty-something year-old, I just can't relate to chaste teen romances any more. There is so much that seems wrong to me about Twilight. I mean, vampires that do venture out during daylight hours, their skin protected by special make-up? And have no fangs? Puh-lease.

My curiosity got the better of me one night, a few months back, and I watched the first movie. It didn't win me over. Clearly, I've become one of those 'oldies' because I really don't see the appeal that Robert Pattinson has over the hordes of teenage girls. To me, he just looked like an actor with a kittenish face, wearing lipstick. Nothing sexy, or even handsome, about that.

A reliable source informed me that I shouldn't go near the books. I trust her judgement very much, so will take her word for it that I'd hate them. I thank her for saving me the trouble.

I have to confess here that I haven't read the Sookie Stackhouse novels (from which True Blood is based), or even any Anne Rice. No one could accuse me of being particularly immersed in the world of vampires then. I think I attempted Bram Stoker's Dracula once, but got bored and gave up.

So why am I rambling away about vampire films and books?

I recently saw an ad on TV, which made me think about how mainstream vampires have become.

I mean, really, Revlon? That's the best you can do to make me want to buy your lipstick? You want me to fantasise about someone biting me? Even the font used is a blatant Twilight reference.

Know what effect this had on me? I had to buy some new lipstick yesterday. I've been wanting a red one for an upcoming party, and haven't actually owned a red lippy in ten years - true. However, I steered clear of the Revlon section and bought a different brand. Sorry Revlon... (actually, I'm not).


  1. Yep, that's piss. And also, I can't bear the way she says "balm" -bawhlllllm.

    I will never forget 'kitten wearing lipstick' as long as I live. It's all I can see now. Oh, Rpatz.

  2. Don't watch the first Twilight. It was low budget and horrible. The others are better. Don't read the books! Worst thing I ever did. The writing is so awful it's amazing how popular it got. And by amazing I mean disgusting. Robert P looks like a pervert to me. He reminds me of the guy who molested my friend in high school and it makes me sick to watch movies with him in them.

    I found Anne Rice boring. I could never get into them or keep the stories straight.

    Sookie Stackhouse however? READ!!!! Firstly True Blood is based loosely on the CHARACTERS of Sookie Stackhouse. Very very, VERY, little of the stories match up, but both are very enjoyable. I highly recommend continuing to watch True Blood, BUT go get those books! I love them and they are fairly cheap (I bought like the first 7 for about $5 a piece in paper back). I love them!

  3. Angie - I know, what is it with 'bawlm'? I hadn't noticed, maybe it's just another bizarre American pronunciation. Or maybe it's just Jessica Biel...

    Amy - Thanks for the tips! I don't see myself committing to a lengthy book series, any time soon. I'm lazy like that. Glad I'm not the only one who doesn't 'get' Robert P.

  4. Americans pronounce ALL the letters. Palm is the same. I learnt it in an accents class. Except t. T's that occur in the middle of the word become d. Again, accent class.

    Oh, and no. Just straight up no. I knows one or two things and this is one of them. NO.

  5. Yeah, whenever I explain to Americans that Aussies and Brits - unlike them, Canadians, the Irish and Scots - don't pronounce R unless it's BEFORE a vowel (courtesy of my own pron. workshops), they don't get it. They scratch their heads, and say, 'But what about car? Or arm?'

  6. Ha! Stop it. That's brilliant.